Twerking Hard in the East Village: MISS FIRE ISLAND 2010

Miss Fire Island is seriously the best Fire Island event of the summer. It's a big ol' drag pageant where competitors vie for the titles of Entertainers of the Year, Ms. Fire Island and Miss Fire Island herself. For the in-depth article I wrote for Next Magazine's blog, click here.

Bartender Andy, wishing he had gotten the implants some of the other ladies had.

Me and Miss Martha! Miss Martha is the REASON.

Miss Fire Island 2009, Rene Flaming, strutting her stuff one last time before she gives that crown away.

BELLA is one of the emcees. She's also has the mouth of a truck driver and the Long Island accent of a girl from Ronkonkoma.

"There she was, Miss Fire Island." You need to hear the super cheesy and super long Miss Fire Island theme song, sung each and every year at the annual festivities.

Another emcee, Ariel Sinclair, heckling hot "straight" dudes from Jersey into taking off their shirts and pants.

Day wear competition!

Literal day wear. As in, around the house day wear.

Entertainer of the year 2009 Logan Hardcore, giving you Rihanna's Go Hard...

...which ended up more like Barry Harris' Dive In the Pool aka LETS GET SOAKING WET.

Spooking Miss Fire Island 2007 Stephanie Stone in her boy look.

Cindy Diamonds, just chilling with the audience members after her dance performance.

I live and die for Victoria Michael and her medley which included Miami booty bass and fake ketamine and coke.

Pageantry princesses.

This year's Miss Fire Island was none other than Sable Scities (right), who really turned it with like, five outfit changes, all of which were elegance deluxxxxxe.

Non-competitors also come dressed in drag like Rose, who was like, TITS CUPCAKES! BUY MY TITS CUPCAKES!

Someone left their handsome boyfriend in the pizza parlor.

Another non-competitor in cheerleading daywear.

Porscha Pitsop had her Donna Summers look down boots, performing Last Dance which the straights seemed to love.

Epiphany Get Paid gave a riveting rendition of Frank Sinatra's New York with LIVE vocals. Yes, live vocals!

Delfina (left) loves a Bette Midler look and a Bette Midler song.

Fiona St. James hadn't competed in 10 years but felt like it was time to do drag out on Fire Island again so she entered for Ms. Fire Island (the 40 and over set) giving you countess realness.

"Elegance is learned, my friends."

VICTORIA MICHAELS IS GOD!

Mirkala Crystal like to rhumba rhumba rhumba, dance to a samba samba samba.

Pose and click!

Spicky! I love me some Spicky Hilton, especially since she actually showed up this year. (Last year she was on the roster but a total no show.)

Gorgeousness a la Nell Carter.

Ambrosia snatched the Ms. Fire Island crown with this flawless ensemble.

Loving this showgirl evening wear number.

And the camera does no justice to this dress, which I think one of the emcees (aka Porsche or Ariel) asked out loud if they could borrow it after the pageant ended.